


We Can Be Heroes, Just For One Day

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AU?, Arm Kisses, Because Boy's Got Issues, Bucky Barnes Has PTSD, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, But His Husband Is Here To Save The Day, I Wrote This All In One Sitting So It's Not Gonna Be The Best, I'm So Very Tired, Infinity War Never Happened And The Two Are Happily Married, Insecure Bucky Barnes, Kisses, M/M, Nightmares, Old Married Couple, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, fuck hydra, that's it that's the au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-07 16:04:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15222749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: You’d think after a whole seven decades of an ice induced coma, and a good amount of time being brainwashed and sent out for murder, you would lose you love for someone. Then again, Bucky has never been one to follow the rules, and Lord knows Steve couldn’t properly follow a single rule to save his life either. So maybe that’s why they’re still here. Still so easily able to be captivated by the other. Just to spite the balance of the universe, at least Bucky likes to think so. No matter what though, not a day goes by where Bucky isn’t grateful for Steve. The fact that Steve is still here despite having been strangled by Buck more than once, is nothing short of a miracle.





	We Can Be Heroes, Just For One Day

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from the song "Heroes" by David Bowie and I hope you like it.  
> 

You’d think after a whole seven decades of an ice induced coma, and a good amount of time being brainwashed and sent out for murder, you would lose you love for someone. Then again, Bucky has never been one to follow the rules, and Lord knows Steve couldn’t properly follow a single rule to save his life either. So maybe that’s why they’re still here. Still so easily able to be captivated by the other. Just to spite the balance of the universe, at least Bucky likes to think so. No matter what though, not a day goes by where Bucky isn’t grateful for Steve. The fact that Steve is still here despite having been strangled by Buck more than once, is nothing short of a miracle. 

It was morning, probably around three a.m., and Bucky had just woken up from not exactly the kindest of dreams. It didn’t leave him screaming and pleading for his life, like it normally does, but it did end with him in a cold sweat and a pair of lungs filled with cement. Nothing life-threatening happened in his nightmare, but he kind of wished that had been the case. No, instead he had been left. Alone, cold and left with nothing but the searing pain ripping through his arm. The pain of his arm being connected to a weapon of HYDRA’s making… 

He was just a weapon… 

“Buck?” 

Even when having just been woken up, Steve always managed a way to snap Bucky out of his spiraling thoughts. 

“Did you have another nightmare?” He yawned and stirred himself awake in bed, rubbing away any remaining sleep from his eyes.  

“It’s fine Steve, you can go back to bed now.” Bucky reassured, running a hand along his boyfriend’s arm. Steve was real, he was there, and he wasn’t going anywhere. He was always going to be there when Buck wakes up. Always. That thought alone was enough to make Bucky feel awful. He doesn't deserve Steve, he really doesn't...

“Mmm, I love you.” Steve slurred, reaching for Bucky’s hand and lazily kissed each knuckle. 

“I love you too tiger.” Buck bit down on his lip to keep from laughing. Steve had always been a bit of a sap, but he was a mushy stupid romantic when he was dead tired. Not that Bucky was complaining, kisses (specifically from Steve) never failed to pull him out of his worries. 

“Did you have a nightmare?” Steve spoke through kisses, trailing from his knuckles and down to his wrist. 

“Yeah, but it’s fine now.” Bucky hummed, growing more and more tired under the small pecks of Steve. 

“It doesn’t have to be fine you know. You can always tell me.” Steve said, dragging his lip lightly on a bubbled scar on Bucky’s forearm. 

“I know Steve. It’s fine.” Buck repeated, taking the arm Steve wasn't occupied with, and pushed away a few stray locks of hair out of Steve’s face. He stopped halfway through though, remembering his arm… 

His weapon… 

“You’re an awful liar, you know that Buck?” Steve chuckled breathlessly, removing his focus off of Bucky’s real arm and instead putting it on his metal one. He repeated his kisses with this arm as he did with the last; he kissed the knuckles all the way to his wrist. Paying extra attention to the little dents and dimples littered throughout the artificial limb. “Can you feel anything with this arm?” 

“Not really.” Bucky admitted. “But… it’s weird, I feel a faint tingle where your kisses should be. Like… Like I really do have an arm.” 

“You do have an arm?” Steve asked, despite really knowing what Buck had meant. 

“No, that’s… Steve, you’re an idiot.” 

“How so?” 

“You know what I mean. This… thing,” Bucky wiggled his fingers. “It isn’t my arm, not really.” 

Steve’s face fell, he knew how Bucky felt about his arm, he just wished he hadn’t felt so negatively about it. Sure, he was almost killed because of that arm, multiple times, but that wasn’t Buck. How many times would he have to say that until he believed him? 

“Bucky…” Steve whispered, continuing to kiss and trace the details ingrained into his husband’s arm. He was at a loss for words, he didn’t know how to pull Bucky out of his pain. “You’re arm is beautiful, and just because it tried to kill me one… two… three… a multitude of times,” Steve laughed, relieved when Bucky returned a smile of his own. “Doesn’t make it ugly.” 

“But… I’ve… I’ve hurt so many people.” Bucky looked away from Steve, ashamed. 

“‘No, HYDRA hurt people Buck.” Steve reminded, pressing a slow kiss to the bottom of his palm. “You couldn’t do anything.” 

“But-” 

“No Bucky, I don’t want to hear it. You’re here now, you’re the Bucky we all know and love. You’re not… him, you’re not the Winter Soldier anymore. You’re Bucky, you’re the idiot who's been my best friend for a hundred years (literally), you’re the crazy war veteran ready to protect anybody at any cost, you’re… you’re the love of my life, Buck. I wouldn’t trade you for the world. Including your arm.” 

Steve felt frozen in place when Bucky looked back. He was now eye to eye with his lover now and everything was there, out on display. His sorrow, his regret, his despair. It's like his eye's were just endless pools of panic and horror and Bucky was drowning. Worst part was, Steve didn't know how to save him. 

“I just… I hate having to look down at my arm and see and… and realize that a part of me was taken away and used for… for… murder. It hurts so much sometimes...” 

“Yes, but it’s not like that anymore. You have an arm now that can save people Buck. You already have, you’ve saved millions.” 

“Okay, maybe not millions Steve.” 

“You certainly saved mine… millions of times.” Steve rolled his eyes smiling, hopelessly grabbing at anything to reach him. “You aren’t a murder anymore Buck, you never have been. HYDRA’s the killer, not you, and I will keep repeating it until you finally realize that…” Steve was quiet for just a few more seconds, letting the weight of the truth fall down. “I love you Buck, so much, because you’re a hero. Always were.” 

Bucky kept his eye’s on Steve for a long while, looking desperately for any hint of dishonesty. No one like Steve could possibly exist, no one. 

“Bucky,” Steve whispered, trailing his fingers along the length of his husband's arm and stopping at the ridge connecting flesh and metal. “I love you.” He repeated, and Bucky couldn’t stop the small, hot tears that fell. Steve wasn’t lying, how could that ever be possible? How could anyone learn to love him?

“I love you too Steve.” Bucky swallowed thickly, trying his best to keep down a sob. Steve smiled with relief, letting a few stinging tears of his own to fall.

Steve didn’t know if this healed everything forever. Scratch that, he most definitely knew that this did not heal everything forever. Bucky might believe him now, but he is going to change his mind at some point. Probably because of the nightmares, but that didn't matter right now. Right now the two just needed to get some sleep. 

Even if it’s just for one day, no matter how many sleepless nights it’ll take, no matter how many tears needs to be shed, Steve will tell him again and again. 

Bucky will always be a hero.


End file.
